Monday, June 9, 2008

DAY 10

Well yesterday was a slow day. I did not get much done as I was not feeling well at all. packed up a couple of boxes and Liang took me out to eat. We went to sizzler and had the buffet which was so so. As I was sitting there observing all the people couples actually with there kids holding hands as they entered the restaurant, I started wondering will I ever have that? A partner, who truly loves me and wants to share his life with me. "This is my third marriage, I just can't figure it out. My sister, my two cousins have been married for more than 12 yrs. What is it with me, am I really that bad a choosing a partner or do I just attract the bad apples. Please understand I am not looking for a partner, I just wish I had an answer as to why none of my relationships seem to work out for the long run."
Any who went to the mall and walked around for awhile in Marshall's(my favorite store). Then we came home.
Later that night we went back out to eat at pizza hut. I was just sitting there and looking at him. After all this man has done to me I still love him. I AM NOT in love but I care for him. (I just can't help but feel sad for him, what will he do when immigration deports him. I just can't help but to feel sad to know one day his whole world is going to crumble.
I know my world(marriage) has come to an end, my life as I know it is over but, I have Jesus Christ to watch over me and take care of me. I have a family who loves me and has been supporting me thru this whole ordeal. My husband does not believe in the Lord and it just fills my heart with sadness to know where he is headed.) It took everything I had not to start crying, then I just got kind of angry, needless to say I cried on the way home and he has no idea why. When we got home I went to bed.
I guess I am going to have to face it these next 11 days are going to be an emotional roller coaster ride. Once I get home it may take awhile but I will be OK. Just take some time to heal, get into a good church and I will be on my way to recovery.

I did get my cat kennel for Moo Moo and Honey. Needless to say they did not like it and Honey turned into instant diva. Poor Moo Moo just went to the back of the kennel and sat with his back to her. You could see it in their faces they were like what the heck is this. They have never traveled before except to the vet. But I have been assured that as long as they are healthy they should have no problems traveling home. I just hope they don't act up when they are getting checked in, animals can surprise you that way when they are nervous. If I don't forget I will post some pics of them in the kennel. Honey has been sleeping on top of the kennel since I bought it, and Moo Moo wants nothing to do with it.

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