Saturday, June 28, 2008

I made it

It has bee quite awhile since I have been on here, and much has happened. My computer burnt up about 2 weeks before I left PR. So I could not get on here daily and write.
Where should I begin, I had my garage sale and the turn out was more than I could of asked for. Let's just say I made enough money to support me for a month. I had to put down 2 of my kitties one is still in PR waiting to be shipped home.
Spoke to dh on monday said he would call back he has not. I forgot to pay his phone so he probably has no phone and thus can not call me, oh well life is hard but he is a big boy and can take care of himself. My cell from PR will be cut this sunday.

On the other hand I have been moving forward with my life got my license, bank account, cell phone, and hopefully my car will be here sometime early next week and I can start looking for a job.
I am so gratefull to be home the flight seemed a little long and it was cold when I got off the plane but it has warmed up now. Honey and Moo Moo are doing great they seem to really love it here.
It is really amazing how things change when you leave a stressful, negative situation.
So not much time to chat at the moment have to get ready for bible study. This is something great family bible study every morning........................AWESOME.

Monday, June 9, 2008

DAY 10

Well yesterday was a slow day. I did not get much done as I was not feeling well at all. packed up a couple of boxes and Liang took me out to eat. We went to sizzler and had the buffet which was so so. As I was sitting there observing all the people couples actually with there kids holding hands as they entered the restaurant, I started wondering will I ever have that? A partner, who truly loves me and wants to share his life with me. "This is my third marriage, I just can't figure it out. My sister, my two cousins have been married for more than 12 yrs. What is it with me, am I really that bad a choosing a partner or do I just attract the bad apples. Please understand I am not looking for a partner, I just wish I had an answer as to why none of my relationships seem to work out for the long run."
Any who went to the mall and walked around for awhile in Marshall's(my favorite store). Then we came home.
Later that night we went back out to eat at pizza hut. I was just sitting there and looking at him. After all this man has done to me I still love him. I AM NOT in love but I care for him. (I just can't help but feel sad for him, what will he do when immigration deports him. I just can't help but to feel sad to know one day his whole world is going to crumble.
I know my world(marriage) has come to an end, my life as I know it is over but, I have Jesus Christ to watch over me and take care of me. I have a family who loves me and has been supporting me thru this whole ordeal. My husband does not believe in the Lord and it just fills my heart with sadness to know where he is headed.) It took everything I had not to start crying, then I just got kind of angry, needless to say I cried on the way home and he has no idea why. When we got home I went to bed.
I guess I am going to have to face it these next 11 days are going to be an emotional roller coaster ride. Once I get home it may take awhile but I will be OK. Just take some time to heal, get into a good church and I will be on my way to recovery.

I did get my cat kennel for Moo Moo and Honey. Needless to say they did not like it and Honey turned into instant diva. Poor Moo Moo just went to the back of the kennel and sat with his back to her. You could see it in their faces they were like what the heck is this. They have never traveled before except to the vet. But I have been assured that as long as they are healthy they should have no problems traveling home. I just hope they don't act up when they are getting checked in, animals can surprise you that way when they are nervous. If I don't forget I will post some pics of them in the kennel. Honey has been sleeping on top of the kennel since I bought it, and Moo Moo wants nothing to do with it.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Just a little change of plans

I bought my tickets yesterday, but instead of the 23rd. I will be traveling on the 19th. Almost had a ticket for the 13th but just as my friend was ready to click payment the ticket went up $50. So I got a ticket for the 19th at $288.80.
So it is 13 days and counting.

Yesterday as I was at my friends house I was thinking even though I want to get home, the actual saying good by to this man I have called husband for the last 12 yrs. is not going to be easy. There is that part that still cares about him even though he has done what he has done. It will be harder than what I think to say good bye to the place I have lived for over the past 20 yrs. I know everything will be OK once I get home, I just take one day at a time and I will be find. There is so much to look forward to, but by the same token there is so much to say goodbye to. I wish they made don't cry pills. But then again maybe crying is a good thing to help me relieve the stress.

On a brighter note me and my friend Evelyn are suppose to go and see the new Indiana Jones flick today. I can't wait it has been over a year since I last went to the cine. I sure will miss going out with my friend Evelyn. After the flick it is home and get busy I have to make the most of my time.
I did find a bank that will cash the incentive checks from the gov. and only charge $5. I need to get that done ASAP since his name is also on the check. I am putting everything in postal money orders. I don't want to be traveling with to much cash on me.
So gotta go and get things done

Thursday, June 5, 2008


Well I was going to buy my plane ticket yesterday but they wanted over $400 for a one way. So after lots of checking and re checking, I found a ticket for $248.00 arriving at night, not in my home town and it's on the 18th. Five days earlier than I was planning. SO that news is not so good but, the good news is I can fly my 2 cats together in the same carrier which means only $150.00 for them both what a relief, now I just have top find the right size carrier. So instead of 18 days and counting it's 13 days and counting.
Now I just need to find homes for my 2 other cats and sell what ever I can.
Today I plan on staying home (except for buying my ticket) and get everything done and get this sale started.
So I am going to get and get busy.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Day 19 and counting

I am sitting here and writing this and it just hit me the end of my 12 yr. marriage and my move home is becoming a reality. The man I have done my best for and have been thru hell and back for does not love me and only is with me to change his status. The marriage I thought would last forever was just a figment of my imagination.
I really am moving home, Home and Family how wonderful these words sound in my ears. How blessed I am to have a Uncle and Aunt that are taking me and my 2 cats into there home. To think I will be spending turkey day and christmas with family, not alone waiting for him to get home. There will be birthday parties, anniversaries, BBQ's, camping, family vacations. So I need to wipe these tears away and move on to more happy thoughts.

As you know I sold my car YAHOO!!!!!!!. Today I will sending out the money to pay for the shipping of my other car and buying my ticket, I have set a date for June 23. The prices just keep going up it will be close to $500 for me, Moo Moo, and Honey to fly home. I have to check one of them as baggage as you are not allowed two animals per person. I have been assured by quite a few people if they are in good health they should be safe. This makes me feel a little better but, I still don't like the idea of my kitty traveling as baggage. BUT the good Lord has watched over me so far and I trust in Him for my Moo Moo's well being during this trip.

Monday I spent 4 hrs. and $170.00 at the vets office getting vacinations and check ups. My vet was on vacation and there was a substitute. He was slow but very attentive and caring with my two furbabies. My vet is a cat lover, I just hope I can find someone as good as him when I get back home. I will deffinately miss him.

Tuesday woke up to find my cell had been turned off, husband did not pay the bill so we had to go down to the mall and pay it. Now IF he pays for next month it will be $25 more for the reconnection fee. If he wants to keep in contact with me he needs to pay it. My aunt has offered to get me a cell with there family plan he will not have this number. I also plan on getting a po box so he can keep in contact with me there, if he so chooses.
Found a home for another one of my cats now I only have 2 that need a home. I pray that this will happen before I leave. Sold some of my scrapbook stuff, had some people come to my house to see the stuff I am selling. One guy brought about 10 people with him. I was freaking out with all those people in my house, and then they bought nothing I guess they figured I was giving it away.

So today I will be working on moving stuff outside to the garage for the sale that way no one needs to be in my house. So I should be all done with my stuff by the 23 and then I will be on my way. The count down is on.

Sunday, June 1, 2008


Well last night was not a good night for me. I have been holding in all this frustration and anger I have been feeling since April. I just want to go home peacefully, but last night I was just fed up. His car is in my name now and he does not know how to drive a standard, so I have been taking him back and forth to work. Picked him up last night and went to the gas station (it was pay day for him) well he did not want to put gas in the car. I just told him if you want to go to work pump gas, he put in $20. I told him if he did not like it my way he needs to have his girlfriend take him to work and go to the immigration with him, and help him find a transmission for his car. I also told him I needed $500 for the airplane ticket. His reaction was but you have not sold your car yet. Never say stuff like that to a scorned woman.

So we have this flea market every Sunday about 10 min. down my street. My car has no tags so I could not drive it there because of police. I have been taken pics of my stuff for sale to post on line. So I got up at 7:30 am and got me a VERY LARGE piece of paper and glued my pics to it with the list of other stuff I have for sale. Got in my car went to Micky D's got me a breakfast went and parked my car and taped the paper to the back of my SUV and sat there and eat my breakfast. No one was coming around " I was a little ways away from the main part of the market". So I moved my car down to where everyone else was selling there cars and parked my car in the parking for $2.
I felt so stupid and embarrassed but I got out of my car with my piece of paper and stood in front of the parking lot with my HUGE piece of paper. I was amazed at how many people started to ask me about my car and everything else I had on there. "I was still feeling very scared and stupid but a girl is gotta do what a girl is gotta do". I was not there even an hour and a guy came and made me an offer and I said those magic words SOLD. I took less than what I wanted but my Aunt gave me a good talking to yesterday and told me to use the potty or get off the pot. So I used the potty.
So if nothing else I have the money to get me, my 2 cats, and my SUV home. Now DH knows I mean business. So he NOW has to come up with $500 for my plane ticket home. So really I can leave at any time I choose now. I am going to sell what ever I can and buy my ticket.
I will be home by the end of the month if not before.

PS..... Last thursday I walked around my car 7 times praying and asking the Lord to help me sell my car, since I seemed not to be getting any serious buyers.
Then I put my car out in front of where I live and on the second day I had a young man offer me $3000, but I waited for today to see if I could get more at the Flea market. Needless to say I sold my car and GOD ANSWERS PRAYER AND IS GOOD ALL THE TIME. Even though I am going thru a very rough time I am blessed and I am loved. My Father is taking care of me every step of the way.
Thank you Father for watching over me, and being there even when my faith is VERY weak as it was yesterday forgive me. Glory and praise to your name thankyou for selling my car.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Good morning,

Well I still have not sold my car and still am looking for a home for my 3 cats. I did how ever get some stuff listed on Craig's List and the classifieds so I am hoping this will help. I am taking my 2 cats to the vet today for their vacinations so they will be up to date. I also will be finishing my last boxes of packing so they will be ready to send home.

I have not had much energy these last few days but I must get this done. Things with my husband remain the same. No please don't go and stay, just stay long enought for my immigration appointment in Sept. Ha,Ha,Ha. He still denies the woman and his 5 yr. old kid. So I just confronted him with her name and the kid, he just looked at me. He knows I know, I told him "you should be lucky if it would have been years earlier they probably both would of been in the hospital." But Thanks to the LORD I have a spirit of peace, I just want to leave and get divorced and start a new. The woman part of me wants to rip him and her a new behind, but "Vengance is mine says the Lord" so I will let HIM take vengance.

Not much else going on except me here trying to get everything done ASAP. It's very hard tryiong to keep motivated when you are doing it all alone. Maybe he thinks he can control me by not helping me. He is so wrong I am on my way out the door.

Well gotta go and get busy.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

No Show

Well the gal never showed up to see my car but I did sell my motor scooter. And to my surprise he also took one of my cats and my rabbit. This is a friend who works as a security guard at K-mart. He asked his wife about taking a cat earlier in the month but she declined. Yesterday and she was here my Lou Lou did her loving stuff and the lady fell in love with her. It was very hard to give her up and know I will probably never see her again. But she has a home were she will get food and love and that is what is important. Also to my surprise he took my Bo Bunny rabbit. I have had this rabbit for around 3 yrs. she is very big and beautiful. Well some while back my Husband announced to me that he was going to make a soup with her once I was gone. I just could not believe his cruelty (he knows how much I love that rabbit). So last night when my co-worker came to pick up the motor scooter he asked if he could have my B Bunny. So with a broken/happy heart he took two of my children. It was so hard to say good bye but at least I know they have a home.
Well this morning when hubby found out the rabbit was gone he was FURIOUS. Telling me what a black heart I have and that my friend was more important than him. I just find it amazing that he does not see how much he has done to me hiding this double life for the past 5-6 yrs. and never wanting to help or support me. I just can't wait to get home and get away from him .

So I might just have to go home with pennies in my pocket but I can survive with out his help.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Good Morning everyone,

Today I have a guy coming to look at my motor scooter and a lady to look at my car. It would be a blessing to get both of these sold today. If I can get them sold I'm half way home. I so need to get out of this atmosphere and back home.

I did nothing special yesterday around 9 pm. I went to Dennys and had a swiss mushroom burger and a strawberry shake for my birthday. Yes I celebrated my birthday alone which I have been doing for the past years. As I was eating my friend from work called and invited me out to eat after she got out of work at 11pm. But since I was already eating we decided to meet at Chili's today for lunch.
When I got back home I got on my message board and to my surprise one of the gals from my DT had posted a picture. She made me a birthday cake, I just sat there with my mouth open. I was just so humbled, how blessed I am to have such wonderful woman in my life. I will try to post a pic of the cake if I can get the link right.
Did not get to sleep till 5am. Don't know what all that was about just kept tossing and turning. Got up around 9 am. now I have to get ready so these people can come and hopefully buy my car and motor scooter.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Today is my birthday

I am 45 yrs. old today, Happy Birthday to me.

I have a lady comming to look at my car tomorrow I pray she buys my car. I need to sell it so I can send my other car home. I so want to be home now but there are things I must take care of before I can go.

As you know I am taking my 2 Cats with me but I have 4 more that are rescues. I keep thinking it will be very hard to place 3 of them since they are very timid and shy around others, they run the other way when even my husband comes into the room. I have been trying to place them but have had no luck as of yet. I refuse to put them in the animal shelter, just the thought of them being in that place and being terrified, and all alone just breaks my heart. And the fact they would be put down by a stranger and maybe even forceably I can't live that. And I can't take them with me there is no place to keep them. So I have come to the conclusion that I might just have to put them to sleep myself. This will be one of the hardest things I have ever done. But just the thought of something happening to them, or there last days at a shelter being one of terror and confusion is more thank I can take. I would rather they be put down in my loving arms than by a stranger and forceably. It's the only humane conclusion I have come up with since most people do not want to take the time to work with such shy and timid animals. Please pray for me that God gives me a spirit of peace about this. It's like I am ripping out my own heart. I know they are just animals to some but they are family to me. I hope I have the strength and courage to do this.
The other cat will be more easy to place as she is a very loving and affectionate. I just need to find her a home.

I wish this was all over and I was home, I know God never gives us more than we can bear. I am just wondering how much more can I bear. I wish I had some family here to help me but there is no one. I am doing this all on my own, my husband is not lifting one finger to help me except for to pay for my personal belongings to be shipped home and if I am lucky the plane tickets for me and my cats. I know things will be better once I get home and am surrounded with loving family.
It's just that today is not one of my happier birthdays, I need to put my big girl pants on and move forward. This is not the end of the world just moving to a new chapter of my life.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Hi Everyone and welcome to my blog.
This is a new blog for me as I am starting on a new adventure in my life. I will turn 45 tomorrow and in just a few short weeks I will be starting a new life.
I have lived in "La Isla del Encanto" Puerto Rico for over 20 yrs. in just a few weeks I will be moving back to Michigan with just my 2 cats, Moo Moo who is 9 yrs. old and Honey who is 5 yrs. old.
After 12 yrs. of marriage I have come to find that the man I have been married to has been living a double life. He has a five year old son with another woman and my status as beloved wife has changed to just a green card ticket, my husband is from China. I could sit here and write a book on all that I have been thru with this man, good and bad. But I need to focus on the positive and get home.
I am very excited about getting home, being with family and surrounding myself with positive energy and love. I am also very excited to find a good church home. Please don't get me wrong I am very saddened by everything that has gone on between me and this man I thought was my husband. But things have not been right betweens us for years, and now I know the reason why.
So I am chalking this up to a bad chapter in the book of my life and moving on to better things.

I also have a Scrapbooking message board Angels Wings and Crafty Things. We have a wonderful group of ladies on there. So if your looking for a place to share your faith, your love of paper crafting and creating new friendships come on over and check us out.